The Quiet Work of Formation
I am reading through the Gospel of Matthew in my quiet time, and I am taking it s-lo-w-ly.
Not rushing to finish.
Just sitting with tiny portions of the text, asking questions, seeking context, and praying through what it looks like to actually live it out.
Recently, I came to Matthew 5:1–2, the beginning of the Sermon on the Mount.
Except these are not technically the words of the sermon yet.
The sermon begins in verse 3.
These first two verses set the stage.
“Seeing the crowds, he went up on the mountain, and when he sat down, his disciples came to him. And he opened his mouth and taught them…” Matthew 5:1–2
I could not stop thinking about this detail: Jesus saw the crowds. But He sat down, and His disciples came to Him.
The crowds wanted Him.
The attention was growing.
But Jesus did not let visibility or popularity determine His next move.
He sat down.
He gave His attention to the ones He was forming.
This small detail has been sitting with me because it gives language to so much of what God has been doing in me over the last year.
Jesus Was Not Rejecting the Crowd
I want to be careful here.
I do not think this means Jesus rejected the crowd.
By the end of the Sermon on the Mount, Matthew tells us the crowds were astonished at His teaching.
So this is not a lesson about public work being bad or visible ministry being unfaithful.
Jesus had a very public ministry.
He taught in synagogues. He healed publicly. His fame spread. Great crowds followed Him.
But He was never mastered by the crowd.
He was not hurried by visibility. He was not formed by applause.
That is the part that keeps pressing on me.
Because I live in a world that constantly tells me to do more, have more, be more, build more, produce more, and prove more.
And if I am honest, I have listened to that voice more than I want to admit.
What My Life Was Prioritizing
Over the last year, I have felt a deep conviction to simplify.
Not because simplicity is trendy.
Not because I want my life to look calm from the outside.
But because I started to notice a gap between what my actions were prioritizing and what I said I valued.
I started asking harder questions.
What is my life actually forming me to love?
What am I chasing?
What am I modeling in my home?
What would “Your kingdom come” ask of me here, in this season, with the people entrusted to me? First, my husband and kids.
Somewhere along the way, I think I became more concerned with being someone out there than being faithful in here. In the sacred place of my home.
Not because home is the only sacred place.
Not because motherhood is a woman’s only calling.
Not because career, leadership, or public work cannot be holy. It is!
But because in this season, the first people entrusted to me are not theoretical.
They are sitting at my kitchen table asking for snacks.
They are watching how I respond when I am interrupted, overstimulated, or in a hurry.
My children are being formed by more than what I say.
My husband is being loved or neglected in the ordinary ways I spend my energy.
My home is becoming either a place of hurry and performance or a place where the Kingdom is practiced in ordinary ways.
Formation Over Performance
That is what I see in Matthew 5:1–2.
Jesus saw the crowds, but He sat down to form disciples.
He did not despise public ministry. He did not ignore the needs around Him. But He also did not let the presence of the crowd pull Him away from the work of formation.
And I think that matters for those of us trying to follow Jesus in a culture of constant performance.
Because the world will always have another crowd.
Another opportunity.
Another ladder.
Another reason to hurry.
Another way to prove we matter.
But the way of Jesus invites us to ask a different question.
Not just, “How much can I accomplish?” But, “Who am I becoming?”
Not just, “Am I doing enough?” But, “Are my loves rightly ordered?”
Permission to Reprioritize
Maybe you feel this too.
Maybe your life looks full from the outside, but your soul feels scattered.
Maybe you love your work, your family, your home, and your calling, but somewhere along the way your priorities started to feel out of order.
Maybe the Holy Spirit has been whispering to you too.
Slow down.
Pay attention.
Come back to what matters.
You have permission to start over.
Not dramatically.
Not perfectly.
Not by burning your life down or walking away from every responsibility.
But by letting Jesus reorder your loves.
You have permission to reprioritize your life.
To ask what “Your kingdom come” would mean in your actual home.
To simplify what has become too loud.
To say no where hurry has been forming you.
To choose quiet faithfulness when performance culture tells you it is not enough.
No, it is not easy.
And yes, it is countercultural.
But maybe the very thing that feels like a whisper is the Holy Spirit inviting you back to the life God actually entrusted to you.
Not the life you feel pressured to prove.
The one where formation is happening in ordinary rooms, around ordinary tables, in ordinary moments that may never be applauded but are deeply seen by God.
If your soul feels scattered and you’re craving a slower, more faithful way to live, I created Back to Simplicity, a free 5-day devotional to help you begin again with God, right in the middle of your real life.
I do not have this fully figured out.
But I am walking it too.
Slowly.
Imperfectly.
With conviction.
And if you are feeling that same invitation, you are not alone.
Let’s walk this journey together.
If that’s where you are, I wrote more about living simply in a busy world here.
